15 Things Kindergarten Taught Me About CrossFit

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Robert Fulghum's insights into the simplicity of our lives through the eyes of a kindergartner were not only hilarious but extremely honest. So much so, that I wanted to share them not only with my San Diego Athletics Family but my CrossFit community as a whole.

All I really need to know about CrossFit … I learned in kindergarten

Often times in life, if we’re lucky enough, we get the opportunity to wear a many hats. Not the literal expression, especially since I basically wear the same San Diego Athletics backwards ball cap every day, but the idea that we get to experience living in many places, meet new people, and having many different and unique jobs.

Not many people know this about me, but before I was the general manager and head coach at San Diego Athletics I was a high school teacher. Yep, the same guy that yells at you to drop your butt lower when you’re squatting and recites every 2 Chainz song was shaping the minds of our youth. Scary, right?

With all kidding aside, it was a fun time in my life and often times I miss it very much. It’s amazing though the parallels that can be made between coaching CrossFit, teaching high school, and everything we learned in grade school.

In my first full time teaching position I took over for a teacher mid-way through the school year. The teacher had taken a medical leave and left his classroom with everything he had collected in his long, 20 plus year teaching career plastered all over the walls. Aside from the super left-wing propaganda spewed everywhere (I know a liberal teacher in California, who would have thought); there was one poster behind his desk that caught my eye. It read: All I really need to know … I learned in Kindergarten. It was by Robert Fulghum and his insights into the simplicity of our lives, through the eyes of a kindergartner, were not only hilarious but extremely honest. So much so, that I wanted to share them not only with my San Diego Athletics Family but my CrossFit community as a whole.

1. Share

“Dude I’m using that box!”

“Can you move over? I was doing handstand pushups here first”

“I understand it’s the 5pm class, but I need to use that rack for my specialized program I’m spending hundreds of dollars for.”

It doesn’t matter if it’s your first day learning to squat or you’re a top level regionals athlete. No one is more important than anyone else.

2. Play fair

“1..2..3…6…15…18…21!’

“Was that round 2 or 3? Hell I’ll go with 4”

Cheating never helps anyone reach their goals.

3. Don’t hit people

Anyone that’s had a volunteer judge at a local comp can attest the importance of that.

4. Put things back where they belong

Seriously guys, the dumbbells have number labels where they need to be returned. And I can honestly say with full certainty that anyone who has warmed up with a PVC pipe has never returned it to where it came from.

5. Clean up your own mess

That’s right; your coach is your mom. That’s why we should pick up after you. And a little bit of chalk can go a long way, but make sure that you cover yourself, your bar, and your neighbor from head to toe in it.

6. Don’t take things that aren’t yours

“Has anyone seen my roll of athletic tape I left in my cubby?”

Just ask to borrow it. It will help in not allowing people’s feelings to get hurt.

7. Say you’re sorry

It’s just tape, dude. Buy them a new one

8. Wash your hands

I’ve literally seen someone drop a piece of chicken on the gym floor, pick it up, remove a hair from it, then pop it into their mouth. Yes, this person might have been me, but really guys, flu season is coming up. Make sure you wash your hands after the bathroom.

9. Flush

For a community that prides itself on accuracy as one of its 10 domains many, many men need lots more practice

10. When you go into the world watch for traffic

Anyone who has ever crossed a street in Pacific Beach knows this problem

11. Warm cookies and milk are good for you

Nobody really likes paleo.

12. Take a nap every afternoon

Any coach who has ever had to open at 5am and close at 8pm on the same day knows the importance of a 15 minute catnap on a couple stacked abmats.

13. Be aware of wonder

Whether you just PR-ed your back squat at 455 or 135, you got your first muscle up, or can finally do a pull up unassisted; every single person, old or young, should be proud of the effort and work they put in daily. Your coaches are proud of you, and you should be of yourself.

14. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup, the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows why but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do we.

A few months ago a good man and athlete I use to coach died suddenly during a workout. He left behind a beautiful wife and two sons. The out pouring of love and support for this man’s family from our CrossFit community was one of the most amazing shows of affection that I had ever seen. I don’t know many globo gyms that do that.

15. Live a balanced life

CrossFit has given many of us a multitude of things; strength, purpose, and a renewed quality of life. Personally, it’s given me a passion for coaching I never knew I had, it’s allowed me to meet amazing people that I never would have a the chance to learn from, and it’s even introduced me to the love of my life and the woman I’m going to marry.

With that being said, there is life outside the gym. Remember CrossFit is a tool that is here to allow you to better your life, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that is in your life. So, before you go hit the gym for your third WOD of the day or blow off plans because you have to make sure to get your fifth day in a row in, always remember……take a nap first and load up on milk and cookies.

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