Mental Fitness

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Vulnerability

One month ago I stood in front of 50 dads at The Francis Parker School for my first public speaking engagement. I had never had the opportunity to speak so formally and as the event approached I started to feel the doubt creep in. I did some freewriting and the speech started to take shape. I started writing the stories of some of the people I have had the privilege of coaching over the years. I told them about Bob Manning losing 75 pounds, Phil Arrington recovering from a stroke, Chris Madsen tackling osteoperisis, Andrea Ibanez’s recovery after her first pregnancy, and Sam Assael’s recovery from double back surgery. In writing their stories, I found a common bond and internal strength. As I stood in front of this crowd, I realized I shared the same emotion they did when they started their journeys, stepping out of their comfort zones, and attacking their vulnerabilities head on .

I am not a “public speaker,” but attacking vulnerabilities with action opens the world to new opportunities and personal growth.

My entire life people have looked at me through a lens, fixed terms: “athlete,” “coach,” “husband,” “student,” etc, that provide a context to the message I am delivering. When I was an athlete, coaches told me what to eat, how to train, and how to play when we got to game day. As my athletic career came to an end and I became a coach everything changed. I was now in control of the message. I learned to relay information, developed a style, and a message to connect with athletes. Every transition takes time, patience, and a lot of becoming comfortable feeling vulnerable before you develop confidence in your new role.

Recently, Paula Santos and I flew to the American

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